We think our fathers fools -Funny Age Quotes

“We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.” – Alexander Pope

Someday I want to be rich -Funny quotes

“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner

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I removed L from LOVER…….n now its all OVER !!!

“I removed L from LOVER…….n now its all OVER !!!” – Unknown

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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks -Funny quotes

“When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?” – Unknown


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Always go to other people’s funerals -Funny quotes

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra


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The most terrifying words in the English language are -Funny quotes

“The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” – Ronald Reagan


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The easiest way to teach children the value -Funny quotes

“The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them.” – Unknown

Nobody can get the truth out -Funny quotes

“Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don’t know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.” – Colonel Flagg


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Once you wake up and smell the coffee -Funny quotes

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.” – Fran Drescher


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Men are simple things -Funny quotes

“Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.” – Diana Jordan


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Best friends are those who -Funny quotes

“Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and follow you.” – Unknown


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A committee is a group of people who individually -Funny quotes

“A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.” – Fred Allen


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Love maybe blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!

“Love maybe blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!” – Unknown


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We don’t stop playing because we grow old -Funny quotes

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw


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Adam was the luckiest man in the world -Funny quotes

“Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.” – Sholom Aleichem


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I only drink beer on the days that end with “y”

“I only drink beer on the days that end with “y”.” – Unknown


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Accomplishing the impossible means only -Funny quotes

“Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.” – Doug Larson

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A good lawyer knows the law -Funny quotes

“A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.” – Unknown

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Only one man in a thousand -Funny quotes

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.” – Groucho Marx


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When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager -Funny quotes

“When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.” – Daniel Tosh

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Every morning I get up and look through -Funny quotes

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben


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There are only three things women need in life -Funny quotes

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” – Chris Rock


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Go on the 30 day diet -Funny quotes

“Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).” – Unknown


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I stopped believing in Santa Claus -Funny quotes

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple


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Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

“Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?” – Unknown


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There are two things you should never -Funny quotes

“There are two things you should never eat before breakfast: lunch and dinner.” – Unknown


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Do you know the meaning of family?

“Do you know the meaning of family?
- F(ather) A(nd) M(other) I L(ove) Y(ou).” – Unknown

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My luck is so bad that if I bought -Funny quotes

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.” – Ed Furgol


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Women have a passion for mathematics -Funny quotes

“Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.” – Marcel Achard


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funny quotes- Funny Ability Quotes and Sayings

funny quotes- Funny Ability Quotes and Sayings

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test.

God does not ask about our ability, but our availability.

The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.

To know how to hide one's ability is great skill.

The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.

Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.

Ability is sexless.

Natural abilities can almost compensate for the want of every kind of cultivation, but no cultivation of the mind can make up for the want of natural abilities.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

The abilities of man must fall short on one side or the other, like too scanty a blanket when you are abed. If you pull it upon your shoulders, your feet are left bare; if you thrust it down to your feet, your shoulders are uncovered.

Wicked people are always surprised to find ability in those that are good.

They are able because they think they are able.

The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts.

We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.

Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study.

Ability is of little account without opportunity.

The extent of your consciousness is limited only by your ability to love and to embrace with your love the space around you, and all it contains

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

Ability without honor is useless.

The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.

There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability.

I add this, that rational ability without education has oftener raised man to glory and virtue, than education without natural ability.

Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.

All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one...characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers.

Ability is a poor man's wealth.

Short Funny Quotes

1- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

2- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

3- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

4- Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

5- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

6- "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

7- The road to success is always under construction.

8- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

9- If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

10- Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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